Where did you get a picture of my penis
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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