PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
