Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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