your thong is hanging out like whoa
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
