the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bring me that man meat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
