So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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