I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
there's paper in my vomit.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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