It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
