I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
