so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
