ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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