nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
