I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
