i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
