This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my being single is dangerous.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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