dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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