it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
