I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and she was petting her beer can
this boner is exhausting
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
