i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
