kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
