Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
