Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
