i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
