Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
