Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
