i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
