The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
