The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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