I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize