a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
