He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
