i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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