her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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