I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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