I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
