well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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