There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
