wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize