The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
