I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize