so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
