I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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