this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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