i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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