Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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