A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Damn victory sex feels great
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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