Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
