Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
