What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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