Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
