Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
