hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
