This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
