when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
