Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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