somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
