Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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