This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
