I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
