As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
