At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
pray to the hookup gods
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize